Kirsty-Leigh Porter pays tribute to stillborn daughter. Hollyoaks actress Kirsty-Leigh Porter has shared a heartbreaking tribute to her baby daughter after revealing that she was stillborn in January.
Kirsty has taken to social media to pay tribute to her much love daughter, who she had with partner Paul.
She wrote: “I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels, (I have read every single one and still messaging back).
“I am posting this for anyone who needs to see it, I am posting this with strength that our babies will not be forgotten. I am posting this with the strength of every single person who has messaged me who understands what it’s like, in the hope that you understand you are not alone.
“And I am here for you. I wrote this when I had just lost my baby girl Penny-Leigh…’
She continued: “My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are.
‘Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy.
‘I will always do you proud. As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky.
‘Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone. Quiet and still, completely numb. All our plans, our future, snatched away in a moment that we can never go back too and change.
‘My mind can’t comprehend how I have given birth yet my baby is not here with me. How is that ok? How is that ever going to be ok? People say “she was too good for this earth” but that would mean there was a reason you are not still here with your mummy and daddy, and I don’t think there is any reason for it.
‘How can being anywhere but in our arms better for you? With the overwhelming grief comes GUILT. If I’m not a heap on the bathroom floor hiding myself away crying, I am wondering aimlessly around the room with GUILT.’
The actress and her partner, Paul, revealed the sad news that Penny passed away on December 21st last year.
She shared a picture showing a card she received from the NHS following her devastating loss.
She wrote in her post: “Our beautiful baby girl, Penny-Leigh Barber was born sleeping on the 21st of December 2018 at 6.49am, 29 weeks & 3 days young.
‘My heart has never felt pain like it. Sleep sweetly our angel. We will always love you. Love your Mummy & Daddy My Everything.’
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