Why Tess Holliday responds to haters with kindness. Model Tess Holliday proudly owns her body – she was the creator of #effyourbeautystandards and was the first ever size 22 model to grace the cover of Cosmopolitan – but in private, she deals with people trying to destroy her self-esteem.
In an essay for InStyle, she reveals that she gets messages every day telling her to ‘drop dead’ because of her size.
“I would be lying if I said they didn’t affect me,” she explains. “I go to therapy to try to make sense of it all. I will tell someone to f— off if they deserve it, but I’d rather come from a place of compassion.”
The mother of two says that along with therapy, she sometimes deletes her social media from her phone to focus on her mental health.
She added: “When I’m in a bad headspace, I definitely mute people on social media who don’t make me feel great at the moment.
And that’s OK. Who you follow is who you’re letting into your inner circle. It’s in your subconscious. It’s what you’re absorbing.
“Sometimes I delete social media from my phone altogether. Then I focus on my ‘self-care folder’ that has games like Cat Cafe, where you feed and pet little virtual cats. It’s silly, but it takes me away from the negativity.”
Holliday also revealed that people accuse her of ‘promoting obesity’, which makes her laugh.
“If I say, ‘I love myself,’ and they think I’m saying, ‘Hey, you need to be 300 pounds, then you too could enjoy life as much as me,’ I have to smile,” she said. “People act as if I’m selling Tupperware or something — that’s not how it works.”
And she doesn’t see the point in dwelling too much on people’s negativity, saying: “I can’t live life being miserable, because I could die tomorrow. And then what — I was miserable because I was fat? What a waste.”
Why Tess Holliday responds to haters with kindness